I've been knocking myself out in pursuit of spiritual integrity. I discovered my abuse a few years back, and have been recovering in all kinds of therapy and spiritual development work. I got married three years ago, after some 5 years of work.
Even at our marriage, it was clear that my wife was in denial. Three years later, she still deep in it. Yet, her lack of awareness, and excuses, trigger my rage every so often.
One thing I want to do is prepare myself for the possibility of divorce. She just is not committed to serious spiritual/psychotherapeutic work. Some emotional distance will also be helpful, and protect me.