Henry sorry for the late reply. I can hear your anguish. I am 63 and was sexually abused as a teenager at 16-17 and spen 17-21 as a male prostitute. I did not tell anyone untill I was 56 years old. And boy did it do a number on my life. Problems with authority, real and perceived, and I could perceive it everywhere. I took my anger out on those that love me the most my wife of 36years and my 23 year old daughter.
I can tell you I have made peace with my past and forgiven myself for my coping skills that did not help me at all. I also know and believe that it was never my fault.
Henry the 14 months that I have been here have been the best in my life. Stick with us brother
IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.