This is a subject that has been on my mind for many years. It is not a topic that is mentioned much in the gay community I guess because of its sensitive nature.
What I'm talking about is what I perceive to be a distinct lack of support in the gay world, at least in the US, for anti child sexual abuse efforts.
The rationalization I hear is that since gay men are generally thought of to be sexual perverts and interested in 'recruiting' new and younger members--a belief I find is patently false, since most abusers are hetero males--but that this stigman attached to gay men prevents them from addressing the subject.
On a personal level, I have had mixed results in discussing my sexual abuse with other gay men, particularly those not in active recovery from sexual abuse. Among several I got the reaction that as young teens they had craved sexual attention from older males, therefore did not see anything wrong with the adults who had sex with them while they were still juveniles.
One hopes that their attitude has not followed them into adulthood and that they do not see themselves as allowed to have sex with young guys because they 'wanted' it.
I was really discouraged by these reactions--or non-reactions. I am interested in the other experiences of male survivors in regards to the attitude of the gay male community towards sexual abuse.
As a group of people who might feel persecuted or liable for blame, I can see why some gays might not want to have anything to do with the topic of sexual abuse, regardless of their own experiences.
Personally I have made efforts to speak out in gay chat rooms and discussion boards about sexual abuse and how many gay teens are abused.
I hope that in some way gay men can be reached to help educate people about the facts of sexual abuse. That even if a young person or child appears to desire sexual contact, that it is still wrong to have such contact. That it is never OK to have sex with young guys for any reason.
I am really at a standstill on what to do and how to proceed. I know sexual abuse affects so many of us gay guys. And I wish that more people could be educated and be more vocal in their opposition to sex with young people.
I have noticed that in many European countries, especially in France, that many gay discussion boards, chat rooms and other gay organizations have explicit warnings against any sexual activity targetting young people and specific mention of the unacceptablility, illegality and criminal nature of such actions.
Wonder why we don't have that on gay sites in the States?
Why do 'boiz' advertise their youth on gay sites without any outcry from the rest of the gay community?
These are of course, rhetorical questions, but I would be very interested in hearing any feelings or thoughts any other survivors might have.
It's not easy to address a topic like this when many of us have lived our lives in fear of being accused of this very thing. Your comments and thoughts would be most welcome.
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"
-Tony Joe White