Sorry to hear about the sadness you're feeling.
Glad you feel safe to come here and talk about it.
It may not make you feel better right away, but I hope at least you know now that you are not alone in this.
This sentence in your post caught my attention:
. I told him that I was not happy and that I thought I would be better off if we weren’t together anymore.
I just wondered if those two ideas were that closely linked together in reality, i.e. your unhappiness and being with Doug.
Personally I have a history of pinning my restlessness, ennui, dissatisfaction on those closest to me. Sometimes it's my co-workers, sometimes it's my partner, sometimes it's the people driving on the same freeway as me.
Inevitably, I find that pointing the finger at someone else deprives me of "another fucking growth opportunity"--and boy do I get sick of those "AFGO"....
Hope you feel better soon about yourself and where you are.
Be gentle, especially with yourself.
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"
-Tony Joe White