It's been a while since I've been fully active here, but just wanted to drop a note to vent. It's amazing I suppose, but the abuse issue is almost at the back of my mind now--now that I have sorted out the issues between homosexuality and the abuse (that is, that yes, I have been abused, but also that yes, I am a homosexual). In fact, I find the coming out issue to be the hardest, though I think I am finally starting to reclaim my destiny.
It's amazing but only a few years ago when I started posting on here, I was struggling with everything--coming to realize my abuse while trying to deal with the guilt of a sexuality I was trying to suppress. Still, I think I have finally found peace and true happiness.
Just yesterday, my boyfriend and I went to a med school dance--the first time I really came out to everyone at the med school in public (some friends knew before, but not like this). I was dreadfully nervous, and was sweating profusely. It was hard, but I was able to finally make sense out of it with God's grace.
Everyone was really cool including the manliest, stereotypical, frat guy (who were once my good friends until I became so self-conscious about the whole gay thing). I still have to see how everyone will react tomorrow--the first time I will see med students after my VERY public outing. Still, it's okay. I am glad I went, and if anything, everyone confirmed at how they've missed me all this time
) Anyway, I hope that tomorrow will be continued acceptance and a new beginning (as trite as that may sound).
So, yeah...now I really am fully out I guess (first it was family, friends, and now REALLY colleagues). It's been a long time coming. I've been very close with my bf, have met his family, dealt with all the complicated issues, but now is the time to move forward I suppose. It's been a tough ride, but I can't think this website enough. Really, despite all the bad wrap the net gets sometimes, it can also help so much.
The people here have been helpful, and the forum is a good one. It's hard sometimes, but I've seen all sorts of stories on here that remind me that we're all in this together. I thank everyone for trying to help others, and am touched at everyone's desire to put their personal stories forward (while having the patience to deal with the "garbage" that life may deal).
Anyway, I'm rambling out of tiredness, but really just wanted to give an update, and thanks to everyone. Later guys.