You said you visited the place where you were abused IN YOUR MIND. Great idea & insight, Starman!

My T tells me there may be no need to physically go back to places where I was abused or to the people who abused me, to confront them. He encourages (at least first) going there & facing them IN YOUR MIND. Kind of a visualizing, imagining, in order to control the confrontation and the outcome; even to re-imagine it into what you would want to happen.

If you can't remember where exactly a place of abuse was, or if a person who abused you is dead, that may be all you can do to find closure if you need it. It may be all you need even if they are alive & you know exactly where it happened.

That is helping me some & is all I can do for now anyway, emotionally and probably physically. But if it isn't enuf & closure is still needed, then going somewhere and/or to someone personally--or writing or calling them--might be in order.

Myself, I wouldn't want to do it if I wasn't pretty confident I'd be in control of the situation.

This refers more to people than place. But a few years ago I tried to reconcile with a close relative, began to write again & stuff. Then saw this person a couple of holidays over the next couple years.

Then my abuse memories began to surface & clarify more, especially this person's involvement. I also sensed, but had to have it pointed out by my wife after the last visit, that this person is still trying to control & use me.

For my own good I've cut off all contact with this person & have no plans to renew it.

My T is working with me on confronting this person & working things out in my head.

Another good point he made, I think, is it may not help to deal with this person in person becuz tho some leftover issues remain, my real problem is not with that person as that person is now but rather who that person was & how they were treating me as a child--which they probably have blocked out of their minds be now, or would just deny or downplay & piss me off even more.

Not altogether what you were talking about, but I guess I hadda get it out. Thanks, I needed that!

But that's me! Starman, and all of you, do what you need to do & take care of yourself!



"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck