I am going to go to therapy on thursday. I can,t stop blaming myself. No matter what, I still feel ashamed.
I am afraid. I don't know why I keep coming back to this site.
I just want to be punished. I can't help it. Everything my real dad told me and the abusers keep creeping into my thoughts.
I have to deal with this because if I don't I will forfeit achieving my true potential. I am doing things right now which I never thought I could, because these people made me believe that I was a bad person, I wonder how much more I could accomplish.
I will start thursday. I wished I had someone to talk to.
I also think that all of this talk on the television is also triggering memories.