I believe that my boyfriend was sexually abused, and suspect that he was sexually abused by his mother. I've read all of your posts here, and find I am in a relationship with many of the same issues that have been raised here. We have been involved for eight months, and during this time, I have noticed that he is very protective of what is important to him. For example, while we live together in my home, he keeps his most valued possessions at his cousin's home where he has a room. He doesn't share important information with me, in particular, work related trips he volunteers to go to that keep him away for a week or two at a time. They frequently pop up suddenly, and I feel like I don't know what hit me, I'm left alone. He doesn't call me when he's gone. But one issue that began bothering me was his visits to his mother. She is elderly, and I used to feel like he was being a good son by going to visit her and take her around to run errands, mow her lawn, etc. He's told me a couple of things about these visits that bothered me, but I didn't know why. He told me that he gives his mom backrubs. She recently fell and broke a wrist, and the last visit, he told me he held her hands and rubbed them for her. When he's told me about driving his mother around on errands, taking her out to eat, etc., I began feeling cheated on, but didn't know where that intuition was coming from. We have sexual problems. He doesn't really like me being the initiator, and most of the time, he doesn't respond to my advances. He rolls over and goes to sleep. When we do have sex, he is inconsiderate of my needs and I have only had one orgasm in eight months. I feel like he uses sex to placate me, especially when he knows ahead of time that he is going on a trip (and he does know) or he will be going to visit his mother. He has a sleeping disorder, and wakes several times a night, and rises early. He is a workaholic. He can't talk about emotions or feelings. He has been very good at keeping his life separate from me, living with me, but not moving beyond this point in our "relationship." His cousin informed him recently that he is moving, so my boyfriend has to move his things from that house. He started talking about renting a place but where we live housing is hard to find. I told him he could put me and my son's names on his application (children and families get housing first), and the next day, he left for an undetermined amount of time, conveniently, for work. He called me from his office to tell me and said that he was going to his cousin's house to pack and probably wouldn't come here to my house to even say goodbye. I was floored. I said I coudln't stand it if he left and didn't even see me before he left, and his response was a little laugh. It's been seven days, and I've gone through the whole spectrum of emotions: the depth of depression, anger, and finally feel like I understand. The whole seven days I've been writing him a lengthy letter filled with all of my emotional turmoil. During my last entry, I expressed some things I felt about his mother, and his relationship with her, and when I got to the part about him rubbing her back, and her hands, I wrote that it sounded sexual. Something clicked. He told me once how he forgot to take his "vitimins." I didn't think anything of it, but one day I noticed the bottle lying on the bedroom floor and picked it up to place it back on the dresser where he kept it. It's St. John's Wort, not vitimins, and people take these for depression. He frequently gets in moods where he wanders off along, mows the lawn, goes outside to work, and leaves me in the house alone all day on his days off. Once, when I first started seeing him, we spent a nice day together, but the next day he was ready to escape from me and told me that we couldn't have sex because he had herpes, and he was going home, that I would have to decide if I wanted to be with him. You know, it's been eight months, and I have seen no evidence of herpes, no scaring, and no outbreaks. I have been searching the internet for information on what other symptoms men have who have been sexually abused by their mothers, and found very little. I'm not sure how to respond to this, but I am fairly positive that he was sexually abused.