I'm in love with a man who was raised in the middle east . Six months ago he told me he thinks his father abused his older brother and heard gossip that his father had had sex with neighborhood kids (boys). I then dared to ask him if his father had ever abused him. He got vague, "I don't know. One night he picked me up while I was sleeping and carried me off..." My gut feeling is is that he was and just would prefer not to open up the memories. He is a heavy pot smoker and,after reading some of the postings, I wonder if he isn't using the pot to blot out his memories. He has told me that he & his friends laugh at us Americans around the sexual/physical abuse histories because, as he tells it, it happens to so many boys there they'd ALL be in therapy if they perceived it as we do. I guess I don't know how to react since he's pushing me away from feeling sorry for him by saying he's one of many yet another part of me also knows that what ever happened had to have hurt him & seems to have had a strong impact on his ability to move forward in his life . -- my question? Does anybody know about this middle eastern boy-abuse thing he & his friends refer to? Is it covertly sanctioned there, men having sex with younger boys? Will he ever go for help do you think? I'm gettting scared about our future: how can I live knowing/not knowing what went on?