wow, I am so relieved that I am not crazy or alone in what I have gone thru with my H. He too had a nervous breakdown and finally told me about his Mom(foster).I knew of his childhood abuse at the hands of his biological mother. He had hidden the fact that his foster mom, which we live close to had molested him from the time he was 14 till he was 20, When we married he changed from mr. wonderful to mr. awful. He is in counseling, I have confronted her and she is no longer in our lives. He too had a brief affair, after he had filed for divorce and kicked me out of our house, this all coming from what I thought was a happy marriage. I knew he was battling something just not the specifics, when I finally rented another house the breakdown came fast on him. I was his saftey net, as I have been thru abuse and had dealt with it about ten years prior which he knew when we married. The abuse he has suffered is so intense it has covered his whole life. His foster mother is a pillar of the community and picked him up at church took him into thier home and proceeded to molest him. I never knew that women could do that before now I know that either gender is capable of hurting someone. I am so glad I have found this board. I too know of the lack of trust and feel torn apart because I feel empathy and compassion towards him yet still feel the pain of what all of this has done to us. Thank you for listening to me. Jenni