thank you so much for both your posts shawn. you are right about trying to remember too much too fast. over the weekend he has tried to remember lots and was so overwhelmed that he couldn't cope. i was finally able to get him to calm down after a couple of days and today he seems a little better. i forwarded your post to him. what are some good ideas for techniques for relaxation and for "getting away from it" for a while??
I ask him quite often if he is suicidal, and he says he is thinking of it but not strongly yet. i have been suicidal often and i know that i need to ask him often to give him an opportunity to tell me.

thank you for calling me his safety net. it validates my role in this. i am glad i can be of some value to him.

thanks again for both posts....