Hi Everyone, I am in a relationship with man who was sexually abused at the age of 14 by an uncle, he is now 33. We are very much in love and are going to spend the rest of our lives together. However the affects of the abuse have caused severe sexual problems. We have been together for 2 years and have never experienced intercourse. He is unable to get an erection. I asked him what he feels is his reason for his problem and he tells me he does not know. I tried to talk to him about the abuse but his response to me was that he is very embarrassed to talk about it and he wants to forget what happened. I did not want to pressure him so I let it go just telling him that I love him and I understand. I was raped and lost my virginity at the age of 15. I told him my story, when I was raped what I felt about it and told him the embarrassing things I thought and felt after it had happened hoping that he would realize that he has nothing to be embarrassed about. I love him and NEVER should he feel that I would think any differently of him. He showers me with love and affection he has never pushed me away or ran from our love scared. We are very affectionate and passionate together. But when we are intimate if he does begin to get an erection (which does not happen often) it does not last, he will keep it literally for a 10-15 seconds. I know that this is a result of the abuse. He at times makes excuses, he is tired or had a glass of wine and is to relaxed. I donít say anything but I know those are excuses. How can I get him to open up to me. I love him and he is the most important person In my life. I asked him if he would feel comfortable talking to a therapist but he refused. Please help us!!!

Thank you,