i am writing while i wait to go see my therapist. i am going to an aa clubhouse soon because i just don't want too die. stuff is just overtqaking me at a rate that i am failing to maintain. i just cry and pray and boy am i alone..it just hurts i am am so scared...god i think any of me is just melted and i am raw..i just want to be removed..how can anybody do this to someone i don't know i try to be so good and that never matters to anyone either. i just knew during the night i was going to start digging on me again. i had all th tingles but i prayed and walked and cryed and it stoped. i don't like that and once you start a place you just can'y leave it alone and it hurts and hurts untill it is bleed out.. ifeel i am worse knowing what i am doing than doin g it sometimes