abcd posted a message last week saying that none of us are where we want to be. I keep thinking about that message. I printed it and read it over and over.

I know I don't like who I was. I wonder who I want to be. So I ask myself, what would I want people to say about me when I die? I don;t want people to say, poor Doug, you know what happened to him? It ruined his life, he never got over it.I don't want people to think of me as someone who walked out on his wife and kids.

No, I want people to say, remember Doug? Something terrible happened to him, but he did ok anyway. he was still a good husband and father and loved his wife and kids, he was the nicest guy and alot of fun too. You could count on him for anything. that's where I'm going. I want to be able to look at mys elf in the mirror and like the guy looking back at me and be proud of him.I don't want my obit to say, Doug died, he was a victim of sex abuse, the end. I want there to be more to my story then that.