I think I understand...Lately my thoughts on porn have changed too. I'm gay and experienced csa (I don't know if I'm a vicitm or a survivor, that's a different post).

Volumes have been written about porn, what it does to the people in it, and those who look at it.
For me, I didn't discover gay porn till I was in college, and it was very addictive. What I've realized lately is that it appeals to my physical lust, but never satisfies any needs, it's like scratching an insect bite, it just makes it itch more.

My interest in it seems to vary inversely with my self-esteem, or self-image. When I'm down on myself I'm more likely to seek it out. When I'm busy, when things are going better and I'm spending time interacting with real people, I'm not interested, or I don't spend time looking for it online.

Porn (for me) also reinforces reducing someone to a 2-dimensional image, instead of seeing them as a whole person. I've never been in a relationship, maybe porn seems easier than meeting someone, getting to know them etc.

-just my thoughts


Digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
--Peter Gabriel