Originally posted by Hauser:
May I reiterate what I said before? (I feel all alone on this one). I, on the basis of hoping I can be forgiven for hurting other people in my life in the past, have forgiven my perps. They weren't the sadistic, violent, type of perps. I actually found it rather easy to forgive them, but I STILL don't feel better about it. What's that all about?
Hauser, you're not all alone. For a long time after I forgave my perp, I really didn't feel any differently, and I didn't see any effect in my life. Then something very good happened with another person (I can't go into details) and I realised that because of my forgiveness, some good came into the world. That was reward enough.
I think the other thing that happened is that I needed to beg someone very close to me for their forgiveness for something I had done to them. I found this a little easier after I had forgiven my perp. In fact, I think if I had not forgiven my perp, and myself, I would never have had the courage to ask my friend for their forgiveness. Maybe forgiving my perp made me humble. I really don't know and I wish I did.