What do any of us know about sex and love together? People did things to us that had nothing to do with love, it was power and control. Most of us probably thought our abuser loved us but they didn;t. But when it happened to us we put sex and love together, plus pain and shame and everything else. How many of us ended up being obsessed with sex? Now I;m seeing something else, that the only woman that I loved and had sex with was Kimmie. I had sex with other women but I didn't love them, I know that now. So now I'm wondering if I felt so much pain and shame with Kimmie because of my past abuse? Is that another reason that I cheated on her, because I didn;t feel that shame with other women because I didn't love them? I got obsessed with sex and had sex with other women but it was ok to me then because I didn;t feel that deeply and didn;t feel that pain and shame that I thought of with the abuse, too, but since I love Kimmie that stirred up all of the feelings of the abuse. Does this make sense to anyone else? That's what;s so great about this place, that I can read things over and over and find out new things and get to thinking about them at my own pace.