I'm glad that this board is back up, I wasn't able to access it for about a week. I am in a bad place right now. I left my job on May 31, and things have gone from bad to worse to even worse than that. The company didn't file my termination papers, despite the fact that I have applied for unemployment, and filed complaints with the human rights commission, the state labor board, and still have my workers comp pending. (Am I having fun yet?) Right now, all I can think about is the fact that I was picked on at bullies at school, molested by a janitor and a school administrator, and told that I was a "bad kid" because I was "different" and should "shape up", yet they never said how to "shape up." Add religious abuse, with my mom taking my sister and I to a church where we were told we were going to hell no matter what. My father was an atheist, so he tried to undo what little religious teaching we did get. (When people ask me if I'm "born again", I tell them, "No, mom got it right the first time.) :rolleyes: Add to that an abusive, alcoholic father, a mother who was a compulsive liar. After the divorce, she came onto me sexually. I had no friends, and stayed in my room with the door closed most of the time, totally isolated. I thought things would be different when I grew up. Now, I'm permanently disabled because of an on the job accident, then lost my job because of it. I have no friends, no income, no prospects, no benefits, and no hope. I can't go to my psychiatrist, since I don't have benefits, and there is no low cost counseling available, because of all the government cutbacks. I am seriously contemplating suicide right now, as I don't really see any other way out. Another job is difficult, since I can't stand for any length of time because of my injury. I can't even sit for 8 hours a day, since my hip begins to hurt. It would take months, if not years to file for social security disability, and even until then, I still have no income and no benefits. The other complaints that I have filed will also take months, if not years, to settle. Then I go out, and almost get run over by selfish, arrogant people, go into stores and get ignored and treated rudely by the help, and wonder if this is all there is to life. I hadn't been praying, but lately, I have been praying that I don't wake up in the morning, that God will take me, (or whoever will take me. After what I've been through, hell couldn't be much worse.) I can't cry, because I was abused out of crying because it wasn't "manly". The only light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I don't know why I'm posting this, but I don't have any other resources right now.