Yep, she has been under a great emotional strain these last couple months I have been struggling to live with her. It is very unsettling to have been sexually and physically assaulted by females and then have my wife wake up angry and distant, bitter and contentious for two or three days of the week.
Finally I needed to understand her situation so we talked today. She invests an intense emotional load onto innocuous, irrelevant everyday things, then she waits for me to mention concern and we fight. I mean like house work and getting dressed every day things, not adultery or end of life decisions, but that is what the reaction is, so overwhelming and frankly, exhausting.
I told her I felt like her reactions were over the top, asked her what I could do to help and finally, she confessed that she was in a passive aggressive cycle, that this cycle has come up in every sexual relationship she has ever had in her life. Then I reminded her about the sexual abuse she shared with me and she stopped, then cursed. She had begun sexual abuse recovery with me 6 years ago but could not continue, she became overwhelmed and dissociated. It took 6 years and my struggle to recover to allow her to be safe enough to open herself up to the trauma of that incident.
She is on the cusp of recovery again, this time it is her process and I will give her the space she needs to process, as she had done for me. I love this woman and I know the struggle she is about to engage in, I trust I have the support, the patience and the insight to be in the right place at the right time.
This is a big moment for us, thanks for listening.
Edited by SamV (06/22/14 11:21 PM)