I have had serious trust issues with everyone, men and women since I was 11 but now it is really more focused towards men, particularly straight, masculine men, especially if they give off a homophobic vibe. I can be at many times comfortable around and chatting with bisexual and gay men but have recently found that I CAN NOT directly speak to ANY man about abuse, it just triggers too much and stirs up so much hate, even more so since a man did my criminal injuries review and did a shit job reviewing it making numerous errors and wrong impressions starting right in the first paragraph where he refers to the first monster who abused me as a "family friend" even though he further goes on to acknowledge that we never met before and I did not know him. It just felt like he drove a nail in my heart being so insensitive and dare I say stupid with his remarks, going so far as suggesting that I wanted to be abused the second time, I never consented but I didn't fight him off because I froze up like a scared child and I complied with his demands to avoid being hurt. The 18 year old me wasn't at all present, I was purely the scared shitless little boy trying to force myself to do what he said so he wouldn't hurt me or tell anyone else and this MAN turned it into me wanting to explore with a man, me never having had sex at all at that point, and complying purely so he would give me the job, a job I made clear in my victim impact statement that I didn't want. Fuck I hate men right now!. Sorry for that remark.