Donovan - she is allowed to transiently feel those things - although they are not exactly true, she can't pass off all her decisions on to you.

I have been there, and I would be lying if I said that I didn't have horrible moments where I said incredibly painful things to my husband when it all first came out. It is NOT PRODUCTIVE at this point. As I said earlier, anger and aggression don't have to come together in one package.

I would recommend seeing someone together. Even if it is yours or her therapist. Finding a way to work through this is crucial. Is she willing to come on here? She could private message me, I would be more than willing to speak with her. If she is anything like me, she will end up feeling very badly about these things and it is not good for her or for you.