My husband takes turns being loving for a few days then withdrawing himself again for some time since starting therapy which is hard work and confusing to me. There is always a bit of a pattern I've noticed: after going to his sessions he is upset followed by a phase of almost ignoring me and being sometimes rude, often rejective and cold. At some point after the "horrid" phase we get into a conversation and he manages to tell me about his feelings, and even opens up a bit about his childhood. After that follows a really good phase where he is very loving, content and basically the person I want to be with. He even initates being physical with me (hugs and kissing) which is a real rarity these days. Him going through a bad phase is me starving from affection and attention and it's not nice to live that way. We are currently having bad days again and I am quite depressed about it. Even though I try to be understanding all the time I am thinking that I have had enough of this rollercoaster ride and just want to be respected and loved on a regular basis.
Another thing wound me up yesterday and that was him defending his neglective, alcoholic Mom (she was a bystander to the abuse and possibly involved - while my husband is disclosing to me very carefully and slowly, he gave me hints in that direction). She did unspeakable things to him- now I see myself being his punchbag while he is defending her actions (to be fair, she is dead now, so he cannot put things straight with her anymore).
Another thing that annoys me is that he doesn't speak to me at all about his therapy so I have no idea how things progress, nor am I able to fully support him if he doesn't give me any infomation. Do you think it will change over time?
Sorry, for ranting away but because of the nature of the problem I feel that I cannot talk to any friends about it. So I am very thankful about this Forum, it is the only place I can talk to someone about my problems.