Just venting a little. I am a survivor of an abduction with my brother at age 8. I was also abused sexually and perhaps physically long before and several times since. I started heavy drinking by age 12 and crossed that line to alcoholism by the age of 14. No small part was a desire to crawl in a bottle and die, part of it was the alcohol fueled the pity party and part of it was I needed to numb the pain I was suppressing.
I have been involved with AA for about 3 years, have a sponsor and sponsor two alcoholics (neither of which are known survivors, but they are alcoholics just like me). I have been sober for a little over 3 years and if I am still sober by September I will mark the longest period of continuous sobriety of my entire adult/teen life. I have been asked to do "leads" which are essentially a testimonial of what we were like, what happened and what we are like today. I have done it 4 times, a couple of them with a hundred or so in attendance. I was asked to do it again at a large meeting in June.
Although probably not unique in having been abused and being an alcoholic, I am a little more open than most. It's one thing to admit it relatively obscurely online, another thing to look people in the eye, many of whom you know, and admit to it. Per my therapist's advice, I avoid graphic detail and describe it in a general way since the details are actually traumatic to listen to if not triggering. Although we are taught to focus on our problems as they relate to alcohol, I have found I have been educational to several. One is a lady who has thanked me in her own lead for enlightening her to the fact that her brothers could have been (and indeed were) abused themselves. She also learned that they were every bit as defenseless as she was.
Anyone else in AA that has broached this topic in a lead?
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.