As a survivor I know the survivor must "fix himself" and the spouse must "fix herself" in order for true balance. An when I use the word "fix" needs to be viewed in a positive way--accepting themselves, taking care of themselves, not allowing the abuse and effects to control their lives, and having mutual respect for each. It is not easy but you need to take care of yourself because if you do not take care of yourself the codependency will only deepen.

I empathize with your husband, as a survivor, but I know I controlled my healing and needed to be supported by people who accepted by struggle. Please take care of yourself because you have love for him and your heart is in the right place. Only time will tell if he has accepted control of his healing.