Hello everyone: I am a wife of a male survivor of child molestation by his father. He abused my husband for 6 years through inappropriate touching of the genitals and did either the same or worse to his older brother. His family has not addressed that this happened and has repressed it. I have no idea who knows. AllI know is that my husband opened up to me about it when we were dating and we cried together and I was very upset at what his father did.
I have for the sake of my husband had a normal relationship with my in laws since we've met, but we are now expecting our first child and i can't pretend like I am okay with him having a normal relationship with his grandchild. they live cross country thank god so we won't see them much, but I recently brought up the issue twice with my husband and he is not concerned his father would ever molest again and thinks I'm overreacting when I say I don't want to leave him alone with my child. I also don't want to leave him alone with my mother in law if my father in law could be anywhere near by since I don't trust her either since the abuse happened in her home. my husband has never received therapy for it. i am concerned since he thinks the abuse could never happen again and all he says to me is that he won't let anything bad happen to our child but tells me nothing of the steps he is willing to take to assure this will not happen.
I know he is in somewhat of a denial about it but is coping much better than his brother who is not really functional in society and on several medications. both of them have had serious issues in regards to relationships with women. my husband didn't have sex with a woman until he met me and he was already 25 yrs old. he used to jump back at times when id touch him anywhere near his genitals. thankfully he is better with this. he hasn't had fear or nightmares in more than a year, but he told me about all of his feelings. I am at a loss because he is upset at me now for not wanting our child to have a normal relationship with his grandfather. I don't know what to do and have no one to turn to for advice. Thank you in advance.
Edited by expectinfeb14 (12/27/13 08:31 PM)