I am hoping some male survivors can help me know how I can most help my five year old son. In other words, what would they want their parents to do if they were our son.
Here is the situation. There were two times he was molested. They were both by the same seven year old. The boy is in our carpool, close neighbors, church, school but only wanted to play with my son within the last two weeks. The first time was inappropriate behavior in the church bathroom during a scout meeting and the second was in the 7 yr olds bathroom and involved oral genital in a way that I don't believe is age appropriate "doctor play". Women friends with molestation in the family have agreed with me. These were within seven days of each other. I was going to tell you what exactly happened but don't know if that is offensive to people here.
In both situations the boy told my son to go where no one would find them, secret meetings and he only wanted to play with him. Luckily the mom found them in the second meeting and mentioned it o me, I talked to my son and he disclosed what happened to him. I have a counseling apt for us in a week. I understand that technically because of the age difference they are not likely to call it molestation t my son has peed his bed 5 times and 2 daytime accidents since the first occurence. When we talked about it he said the boy would try to do it where no one no one would see and the idea of having the boy apologize (which a neighbor social worker suggeseted to both parents in our dual meeting))our son asked if we could go without him. We bought the book red light green light boundary setting book and read to kids,5 yr old was listening intently, older bro asked if we really thought they needed learn this. My dh said yes, one in six boys have to deal with someone trying this. Our 5 yr old then spoke up and said I had to deal with this.
Bottom line, we want to help our son as much as possible, what would you suggest? I spoke with two girlfriends who had sex abuse from their fathers in their families and they both felt the need to treat it as abuse, as do we. But I wanted help from the male survivors. What do you suggest? I think I have two really good counseling places that specialize in kids and such issues. What else? How about over the years as he enters puberty, adulthood etc? Thanks.