how did i deal with my murderous rage throughout the years?
(without leaving a trail of bodies behind)

music, heavy music.

i used to plug in my guitar, put on the headphones, and blast away for hours.
no one could hear but me, so i could play absolutely anything i wanted, as loud as i wanted, as noisy as i wanted.
(i ended up becoming pretty good)


long long lonely walks.

i am talking hundreds and hundreds of hours and miles by myself, through all kinds of landscapes. cities, mountains, seashores, forests, jungles, highways, deserts, railroads.


angry prayer.

curse the creator.
give it all up to god.
shake my fist at the sky.


there were other coping strategies and techniques,
but i will not recommend them to anyone.
those methods only compounded damage.