I know I sound judgmental when I write this but I am going to anyway. I never used to be like this but I now view porn as just bad and wrong. The majority of the women in porn have been abused as children. I feel the same way about prostitutes and strippers. When people use these things, they are taking advantage of another human being's woundedness. Sad, so very sad.

I am married to a sex addict. I may be biased. Porn/hookers/anonymous sex all have one thing in common.....the ability to be sexual without the intimacy and with the person acting out having total control. Believe it or not, hooking up with crazy people from Craigslist was less scary for my husband than being with me. That is deep. Risking one's life to get off is not as scary as intimate sex with vulnerability and love. CRAZY!

Anyway, I am all too familiar with this shit. Wish I never heard of it.
Sorry for you pain. I feel your pain. As for the mother thing, I don't get that at all. Maybe he feels vulnerable like a little boy now that you know and he doesn't like that.

The fact that your husband lied about what you saw on the computer COULD be a sign of a big problem for him. If you were looking at porn on the computer and he asked you, would you feel the need to lie?? People lie out of shame and/or a bigger problem.

I am sorry you are going through this. It sucks.