Thanks Publius been trying to find a therapist since this was posted, not going so well, but a friend who has been where I am but been to therapy is helping me. Been having conversations and she got me to actually open up a little. Having her listen to me and cry with me, tell me it will be ok, actually helped. She is trying to help me find a local therapist so I can face this and in time live life. One day at a time. It is comforting to have people like y'all helping me to. Thank you all
It is not the destination so much as the journey!!