There's no doubt it was ASA.
You may have gone there with child like faith that it would be a good experience to meet someone of like mind, but you expected someone who would act like an adult, not a deranged weirdo. And it should have been fulfilling. No means NO, whether child or adult.
I'm sorry to hear of your traumatic first time, but I think you're on the right track by getting the professional help of a therapist and also by making this a shared experience through the MS forums. A non judgmental approach can help get rid of a lot of shame, guilt or embarrassment. Good luck.
Whether you say, "i can't do this," or say, "I CAN DO THIS" You're Right.