My son is 45 yrs. old and I found out last year that he was sexually abused when he was only 5 yrs. old. This finally came out because he had recently married the woman he had been living with for the past 20 yrs and for some reason, it was time to get it off of his chest. This is where the Catch 22 comes in, the person who sexually abused him was my little brother, he was just 13 yrs. old. I was so shocked, my baby was sexually abused and my baby brother was the abuser!!!
At first I wanted the whole family to know what my brother did to my son because my family thinks my son is and always has been "out of control". My brother now lives 3000 miles away from the rest of the family and usually comes home once a year to visit. When I called him about this, I had to ask the questions because my son was so young at the time he didn't know how long the abuse went on or what actually occurred, 40 yrs later. It started at my parent's home and it lasted about a year. My brother said it stopped after about a year because he finally learned what sex was and realized what they had been doing was wrong. According to my son, he didn't know why this stopped and thought that it was normal behavior among boys. My brother said he would never be able to come home again because he wouldn't be able to face his sisters and their families again.
My son has had a drinking problem since he was a teenager and would always refuse to get any kind of help. He has big issues with anxiety, has to have a drink or two before he can go out to dinner with his wife or with his father and me. He also has anger issues. He works at a place with my sister & her husband and I have heard many times about my son throwing tantrums on the job. He's obsessive about things, get's over emotional over little things, can cry easily,I can go on an on.
My son refuses to seek out any help,he doesn't think he has a problem or problems. He also says he doesn't want the family to know about what his uncle did to him.
For the past year I have tried not to think about it but my son isn't getting any better, he is just getting worse and I'm beginning to hate myself for not letting my family know that THIS ABUSE is WHY he acts the way he does, that it's not his fault while on the other hand I'm protecting my brother, who was like a son to me, I feel like a traitor!
Where do I go with all of this, my heart is so heavy.