I'll keep it short, but it's been a horrible day. Can't work any shoots or get into the yard to work it off. Worst depression I've had in ages. And had my first gut-wrenching cry since the heart attack...crying for Ricky, crying for myself.

Despite the success of the HIV treatment the past seven months, I find myself wondering if the struggle is worth it...whether I bother with (or even if I'm worthy of) any more feline companions, whether it's worth it to continue fighting my own health issues. I feel tired, fragile and beaten. Right now I don't feel like I can fight any more.