I reread your original post but am not sure I fully understand it. The idea that women are not sexual beings has been your road block to what? What has that idea blocked you from?
Long ago I was terrified by the notion of women being sexual beings as it gave them (women) power in the one area where I lacked it most (sex). So, the idea of women being sexual beings was like kryptonite for me. I preferred to see them as non-sexual so I could remain in power. However, it became important for me to focus on my issue (overwhelming sense of powerlessness) rather try to 'gain' power by 'stealing' it from others (women).
Today, I not only see women as very sexual beings but also just as troubled/confused in the area of sex as me. I can often see how they are at times overwhelmed by their sexual urges. However, I still struggle with my personal feeling of powerlessness in the area of sex.