I have been married to my husband for five wonderful years, and he just told me a week ago that he was molested as a child. I am thrilled that he was able to open up so far to me, as I know it is a difficult admission for so many, but I was so shocked and horrified to learn that he had been through such a terrible thing. He told me he could not discuss it at all, but that he just needed me to know it happened (only once to my knowledge, but that is enough!). At the time I promised I would never bring up the subject, although I felt he should probably talk about it, because I want to respect his wishes on the matter, and because really I have no idea what it must be like living with that memory. I am just not sure I did the right thing, or how to proceed from here. He has done an amazing job of overcoming it to become a wonderful man, husband, and father, but now that I know I can understand certain issues he has with trust and anxiety, and some of his overprotective tendencies with our children. The trust issues and overprotective tendencies have in the past caused some discord in our marriage which we have tried to struggle through together. Now, however, I feel afraid to talk about my feelings about some things because I now know the reason behind them and feel that any discussion is just going to end up skirting the real issues. I feel like the honesty and openness of this revelation has in some measure curtailed the overall honesty and openness in our relationship. I would really like some input from survivors about what they would want from their spouses in a similar situation to ours. I don't know how to go on as if I didn't know, and that is basically what he asked of me.