I'm certain the early acting out was related to this---the fear, the anger...
I did really, really stupid stuff...things "smart" kids weren't supposed to do. Later at age 15 I knew I was okay...and got an answer which relieved my mind tremendously.
I think the college student experiment stuff (psychological guinea pig/medical) was "plain" old acting out in my own hidden way. This was coincidentally correlated with my "rejoining" the trajectory.
Edited by Suwanee (08/07/13 11:05 PM)
"His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake and sob too. And in the middle of them....Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart…”. -----William Golding