Hi, Scott and welcome to a place that for me has seemed almost magical - a virtual room of others who can all say words I never imagined I would EVER hear going through this darkness all by myself.... "Me, too."
You said your load seems just a few ounces lighter. It's still heavy I am sure. But it's not where you are that counts as much as where you are going.
I read your story. I pray that your broken family ties are mended. It may not seem like that now, but, unlike concrete, we are all flesh and blood flowing with love and emotion. Today's immutable truths are not always tomorrow's. Things do change. Like you are right now. Keep hope.