my respect goes out to you for taking the time to explore the minds of survivors here.
i sincerely hope you gain insight into this deeply private matter through this public forum.
you may read things here that reflect emotions that the men in your life can't express, but feel inside.
this might help you understand their behaviour.
you might even meet others in your situation with good advice.
knowledge is gathered through persistence and effort.
wisdom is gained through patience and experience.
unconditional love will heal the wounds.