My Bf has just begun recovery. He had a period of acting out that involed porn & allowing a toxic female to send inappropriate texts from Oct into Jan which led to regular sex with an even more toxic female from Jan to June. During that time he was drinking to excess. He harmed himself so seriously in the acting out he hasn't even begun to delve into the issues of his childhood abuse. He's currently recovering from his recent self-abuse.

He has his ok days and his down days. I try to stay as consistent and loving as possible (thankful for my shrink & amazing friends)but we all know this is his journey & I'm just supporting the best I can.

On days when he's down he has said things that are really disturbing. A week or so ago when I complained about a noisey pet he suggested we use a ball gag on her. Before the acting out he would never have said such a thing. When he said it all I could think of was the dozens of porn images of his I had found. I told him that what he'd said was unnecessary & disturbing. He didn't reply.

Today when we were talking about ways to earn extra income he said he could be a male escort. I told him that was a terrible idea to which he replied "You know there are services that do it legally." My response was "That is the worst idea, you should never do that."

While I was calm on the outside on the inside I was thinking WTF?!?!?

Are these serious warning signs that he's revving back up, is he testing me or is this the kind of thing that happens when a survivor in early recovery fresh off a serious episode of acting up is feeling down?

If you think it's a warning I will confront him, but if it's just talk I'm hesitant to make it bigger than it is because he is SUPER defensive these days. One thing I won't do is ignore it.


Edited by Joy (07/31/13 03:31 AM)