This is heartwarming and poetic. So beautifully put...so heroically grateful!
(I really get it! My high school best friendship turned passionately sexual but the friendship ended. Indeed, too much for most young boys to manage. It was my first and most painful heartbreak.
Oddly, 25 years later, at age 40, we both got married on the same day. Nuts.)
I think its so cool that you now think of him as your first boyfriend. That is really a revelation. Back then (and still now at our age) being a couple wasn't all about the sex. It was so much more!
Discovering for the first time, the affection, ingenuity, playfulness of a new friend is a great and sometimes overlooked treasure of life. Thanks for bringing that back into clear focus for the rest of us!