I'm afraid of girls. I have a date Tuesday with a nice looki and I'm nervous.

I see that she's pretty and I wouldn't mind it but there's that thing...

Oh yeah. That whole got molested throughout childhood. Damn that thing. It's gonna fuck it up.

I have so many negative feelings that come up just having an erection. Not to mention being naked and vulnerable with someone.

I know if I kiss her I'll want it. My body will react and I'll want it but it's still confusing. I just want a girlfriend. I don't want to completely immerse myself in her like I did the last one. That lasted 3 years and we both walked away.with broken hearts.

I know I derseve a shot at love though. Just like anyone else.

"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"