I don't know if what I'm going to say with help any but I just wanted to throw my two cents in just in case it can help.
I'm a gay man married to a woman for 35 years. My marriage was never romantic or really sexual except to have kids. I look at my wife as a partner in life I don't look at her as a woman but a partner, and a damn good one at that. She raised our 6 children who I never got to hold because I'm fucked up. I just think that any relationship between people has to be at least a partnership and then see where it goes. No my wife doesn't know I'm gay and doesn't know about my gay friends growing up and I don't know if I will tell her but she is special with our kids and grandkids. I have none of that simply because I'm scared of kids. I would think that a partnership will precede a chance at romance. I never had a real romance. If we had to be together so she could get pregnant then the whole thing was over in 20 minutes. That's not because I don't like here but she's my partner and not my lover. We get along great together. I guess you can call this type of partnership a very strong and solid friendship.
As for why I married a woman? well in those days in the '70s you had to get married and of course it was to a woman so I really had nothing to say about it, it was prearranged by my friends who didn't know I was gay. Couldn't have kids any other way. For a single person it was very hard to adopt, almost impossible. If you were gay with or without a partner forget about adopting. So I went along with the flow and I lucked out with a very good partnership. And no I never took her dancing or anything like that, she has her things she likes to do and I have mine.
Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Stick around, It will get better....🌹🌹🌹