I'm sorry that you couldn't have a better relationship with your Dad. A son't relationship with his dad sets the stage for so much. He is supposed to be the guy we learn to be men from. I had the greatest dad in the world. I feel very sorry for guys that don't have that kind of relationship with their fathers. I feel that because of my situation, I disappointed him, even though he never knew what happened. I did feel like men didn't let this happen to them. When I had a guy use me to show what men and women did and I was the girl ( without penetration) I felt most unmasculine. I believed the lie, only I didn't know it was a lie.
I never became a dad myself. I felt unworthy of being a father. I thought no one could look up to me if they knew my past. I also didn't know if I could protect my kids against the type of thing that happened. I know I missed out on one of the greatest experiences ever. There's no going back for me and I just have to accept it, but I sure am mad as hell at the perps. I am really happy for the guys that become dads, and become good dads because of their pasts.
Happy Father's day to all the dads out there. And being a real dad is more than just donating the sperm