Oh I love rambling it gives me all the information I need so please don't apologize, it's extremely helpful!
Thanks for sharing your experience and getting a little personal yourself. I'm glad that your CBT helped you and the panic attacks you had about your mom. I'm happy you've been able to move past that, that's a great accomplishment!
General talk therapy seems like something I would look into, I would just have to see if it's affordable as I've heard that therapy sessions can sometimes be a pretty penny. I agree with you, I think a balance is good- I wouldn't be able to handle someone who made it like a therapy boot camp but I wouldn't want someone who just listens to me speak either, I would need something in the middle where I'm getting 'help' and uncovering issues with myself but at my own, comfortable and safe pace. I'll let you know how it goes when I look into it- thanks for your encouragement, I really appreciate it!!
Would it be possible for me to PM you to ask you questions regarding relationships? Sometimes I struggle a bit, and since you've been so kind in taking the time to talk to me about all of this, I was wondering if you would mind me PMing you about relationship challenges I face (and hopefully hearing about yours as well). Please let me know if you'd be okay with this!