Hello. I'm new here and posted my intro in the area for it. I have so many questions. I think my LO was molested, abused (I don't know if the terms are the same) or not.
I have serious suspicions he was as a child(he's 50 now). This week I was tasked with cleaning his email out, where I found an exchange setting up a sexual encounter from a Craigslist ad. I also found an email mentioning counseling and him figuring out things finally or starting to. This was 2yrs ago. He hasn't had email since a few months after the ones I discovered. We have discussed an event in his teens where he engaged in oral sex of some kind with a male. He daughters counseling. He says he has always been body conscious and sex was a huge horrible thing in his home growing up. Hrs very personal so his sharing even that is a big thing. He doesn't know what I found yet and I don't know what my next step should be. I was so tortured by this that all week I couldn't function and was tense so much that when finally he called and I heard his voice I burst into tears. I just told him I was so stressed with the worst week of my life. I said we could talk about it in person later. I want desperately to let him know I love him no matter what. My love isn't dependent on his sexual preferences. I'd like for him to not have any desire for encounters with males but that's not my priority. I want to talk to him and let him know I still love him and won't run away. That he's got nothing to be ashamed of or fearful of. Myself I'm terrified he will freak if he knows that his secret is known, even if it is me. His shame and his stories of what he remembers from growing up really lead me to believe he was molested by someone in some way. He's also told stories of a family member that raped their daughter or daughters and other family beat the man up. There are quite a few things that have previously caught my attention and now with this discovery I think if its true he needs some type of help. He shouldn't feel that he is unworthy of love or that he's shameful of anything. I need advice on how I approach this with him. I kind of can compare the times he's said something hinting at more as a sponge or bucket that has absorbed all it can hold and now little leaks are appearing. He's leaking and I want to help him. Thanks for reading and any help is welcome.