The pot smoking is because your background anxiety levels are off the charts now that your body is aware of the abuse and violation, it is in hyper-alert mode. If a normal person's anxiety level is a zero or 1, a CSA survivor's could be a 4 or 5, and then spiking from there as he encounters stress.

The pot smoking helps to dial back the anxiety level; this is my daily life.

But he grew old, this knight so bold / And upon his heart a shadow / Fell as he found / No spot on the ground / That looked like El Dorado.