It's a wierd kind of shame dynamic that goes on because I don't think of other men who get raped as weak or cowardly, and most of the time I don't feel that way about myself either. But when I hear someone talking about how they out-witted or out-nerved someone pointing a gun at them I just feel like crawling in a hole and dying.
The first time it happened it was exactly like soccer star was talking about.. pure bull coming from a habitual liar.. so it was a lot easier to just blow it off. This time though, it's someone else saying almost the same thing and this is someone I hold in higher regard.
Part of me still wants to think its BS, but either way it still makes me feel like I should just go off and do hari kari or something. And I agree that it's not right that I should feel that way, but I just do.