He guys,

As far as smalltown80sguy is concerned it wasn't anyone here on the boards that made him leave. I'm not at liberty to say why he left but it was a hard decision for him to make because everyone who leaves leaves a hole in this this board.

I was triggered by an incident a month or two ago and I erased every entry I had made. I really freaked out and just wanted to crawl back into my hole where it was safe. I regretted it and told my T about what happened. I looked at it that it was a selfish of me to do it. My T told me it was wrong. I saw that after 2 weeks I missed everyone here. I had no one to talk to in my cave, I didn't want to go through another 40 years of silence so I came back. I was ashamed at what I did and my head was hanging low but the first time I posted I was welcomed with open arms. That sure felt good and I'm still thankful for that welcome back.

I feel bad at what I had done, because maybe if just one of my posts helped someone I was wrong to take it away from him.

I don't think that I could ever leave MS again no matter what happens. I need this place, it is the only place I can talk openly with someone that stepped in the same pile of shit I did. I made real friends with some guys here which I never had since I went into the USAF as 18 until I came here in June of '11.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Stick around, It will get better....🌹🌹🌹