Jude's message is powerful. Please carefully read it and re-read it.

Also, shame is a beast - a destructive hungry beast and I encourage you not to feed it. And the only way for that to perhaps happen right now is for you to be supportive yet uninvolved.

This is not your situation to make excuses for or create solutions for. This is something that his family has to resolve. He can do it with your support, but you can not take on nor bear his shame - nor can you become codependent to it.