I have been on this journey of healing for a long time--but over the past few months and after last night's support group and hearing what other said about how I spoke, I realized there are so many wonderful people in this world, but I have viewed myself as unworthy of love. I realize I have some wonderful friends who have always been there for me, and other people I thought would be there for me were not there and I gave more to these people then those who have been there for me. I realize the abuse made me want those who in ways treated me like the abuser and I would distance myself from those who put aside my fears and distrusts. At support a few said they have seen a change in how I view myself and how I know longer want acceptance from those I love. Maybe that has been my problem, looking for love like the abuser gave and being treated like the abuser treated me--false love. Now I hope the healing and as my therapist says, the integration of me continues. That is all I want is to be whole and have what I deserve.
Edited by KMCINVA (05/09/13 01:17 AM)