GREAT LAD!!! you're SO right! just because people buy you things doesn't mean they get to walk all over you! good on you for setting a boundary! you deserve to be happy and if being around him doesn't make you happy, then by all means cut him off.

i am going through something very similar with my mother. A LOT going on there, but at the moment, i am beginning to understand her role in my abuse since my dad was my abuser. i displayed all the signs and symptoms of abuse and nothing. i didn't feel safe in my own home.

now that i realize all that, i am not speaking with my mom. all we do is fight and yell. i didn't let her talk to me on my birthday, first time in 32 years. it was hard. she texted that night suggesting that SHE was being denied the "right" to wish her son a HB. seriously? crazy woman. then she sends me a card and says, "nmw, i will always be your mother." i felt TRAPPED. no, i think a mother would be more loving and supportive then, now. i can forgive for the ignorance of the past, but don't pretend like this shit didn't happen.

just cause she's my mom and a non-abuser, she doesn't make me happy. she minimizes the effect the abuse has had on me. she's not good for my recovery and she keeps me in circles, spinning wheels, (insert analogy). I'm working, but when i speak with her, the work just seems to stall out. so, no talking with my mom for awhile.

good on you for establishing a boundary! absolutely RIGHT to do that!

as for telling other people, i would say absolutely tell people. just tell safe and healthy people. expect nothing in return other than a listening ear. remember that abuse is serious, the side effects we all live every day are disastrous if unchecked. you are a survivor, remember that. telling people, for me, has begun to help me lift the shame i've been carrying. the shame isn't mine... the shame of the act of incest, nor the shame in how i've responded in surviving. none of that shame is mine, and each time i can tell someone (safe and healthy)... i release it a little more.

i've also discovered that i don't have to share every detail. i've got a cliff notes version now... "i'm a survivor of csa." it works. conveys everything without burdening the listener of the details. i expect nothing in return... except maybe understanding.

BIG stride made in making that decision! BIG STRIDE! proud of you LAD!
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.